The Third Place

In last week’s blog, Steven talked about the third place. In summary, in Ray Oldenburg’s book, The Great Good Place, the third place is essential for civil society, engagement, and a sense of belonging. Typically, the first place is home, the second work or school, and the third place is a places of community life. Churches, Starbucks, recreation centers, parks, bars, movie theaters, cookouts, and barber shops are examples of third places.

When I first read Steven’s blog, I realized why I have been feeling so miserable lately….ALL my three places are changing at once! In the last two months, I left my full time job in Kentucky, moved to Cincinnati, started a part time job, and in the next month and a half I will be moving AGAIN, and getting married.  A coworker put it best when she commented, “It seems you put all of life’s most stressful events and crammed them into the next 2 months.” What can I say, I have always been an overachiever.

One of my strengths via Gallup StrengthsFinder is consistency and nothing in my life has been that in recent times. Don’t get me wrong, I know all these “issues” are first-world problems; however, when it comes to mental wellness, I need to focus on my best interest. Lately, I’ve been feeling as if I don’t have a place where I belong. I feel as if I’m a world traveler who keeps getting the door slammed in my face. Thoughts fill my head of, “Why did this happen to me? How did I end up here? When will I feel like I’m living out my true purpose? When when I have a place where it feels like home?”

I don’t know the answers to those questions, I am coming to terms with that. In the storm that is my life I have always found peace at the gym. It’s where I feel I belong, where I’m in my element, where my body is doing what it’s meant to do-move. No matter where I go, I can always find a gym; it’s been there for me during breakups, schooling (I defended my thesis in one), and change.

Whether your three places have been consistent for a while or you are driving the u-haul that is life, like me, your third place is individualized to you.

When the stress of home and work become too much to bear, where do you go? The answer, that is your third place.


P.S. For those who are wondering, my other strengths are discipline, empathy, restorative, and harmony.

Your friend in wellness,

Alicia Everette, MS

A millennial wellness enthusiast trying to figure out life. Coupon Queen. Experimental Chef. Personal Trainer. Aspiring Health Coach